What's the trouble with slowing down?

Yesterday I woke up feeling a little bit like this pup. But adamant I was, because it was July 4th, and we had all these fun things planned, therefore I wouldn't be defeated (my pride most definitely getting in the way). We even made a trip to Bonnie Brae Icecream, because how can you feel sick with a summer cold when eating a delicious scoop of old fashioned toffee melt in your mouth goodness? 

Today, I am paying for it--summer bug in full force. And it is a definite a lesson learned. Matt has full rights to say to me "I told you so" as he all day yesterday told me I need to just crawl back in bed. But I would not have it. I do this a lot, not allowing myself to slow down and stay in bed all day if that's what I need. I tend to feel guilty if I'm not "productive" or not making things happen. This even is true when I am completely well, without a summer cold, and just want to do some reading. I have difficulty sitting and reading a book for large parts of my day without feeling guilty that I am being the complete opposite of productive. Do you ever do this? 

I've set this goal for myself, time and time again, to slow down. But what have I mindfully done this week, this month, to really take time to slow down if I need it, without feeling guilty? I can't even fully answer that question myself, so I am heading off into this weekend with the mindset of rest taking the lead and the goal to finish a few books that have been collecting dust just waiting to be opened again. 

photo via modernhepburn

More On That "Joy Stealing" Business

One way I've shared that I am living more simply, is by taking time in my otherwise brimming day to read.  (You can read more about that here). When I first set out to do this, novels and fiction were mostly on my mind. Its interesting though, that now as I've taken time in my day to read, I find myself enjoying the newspaper, magazines, my devotional, and authentic conversation on blogs more than I ever have. Its quite possible that the goal of reading actually has taken a cultivating in my heart, to teach me how to slow down. Something, that if you ask Matt, I have a hard time with.

I say I have a difficult time with slowing down. In that same sentence I could add, "a lack of understanding true solitude". Can you relate? Time and time again, I measure the success of my day by the length and completion of my to-do list. I find myself feeling rushed, pressured, all by my own doing, to have every box checked neatly. Then, repeat the following day. As I just wrote on how words and comparison often robs us of our joy in the realm of body and self image, I have also experienced my to-do list robbing me of that very same life-giving joy. The joy that comes with taking in the simple things. The joy that comes with slowing down. The joy that comes with being available to those around us. The joy that's left waiting while we finish our "to-dos".

I by no means am writing that a to-do list is a negative thing. In fact, being organized and on top of the daily tasks can leave more room to take time and enjoy those simple things. But there is a difference that can be seen in the heart of the person, the task completer. Where I can often find my heart, and my mind, is caught up with everything that I have on my plate that day, and I forget to smell the roses--as cliché as this sounds. I miss out on moments of simplicity.

This 'joy-stealing' business, I am done with. And thankfully, God is teaching me how to be more mindful and prayerful, in turn cultivating my heart to seek solitude rather than cringe at the thought of how it might make it challenging to check of my boxes for the day. Reading has helped with that. Books have become a place of recovery for my otherwise task-minded default. I am learning how to find joy and happiness in the simple small moments, rather than joy solely from how I've measured up to my tasks for the day (although, how satisfying it does feel to check scrubbing the bathtub off that list!).

Photograph taken along the California Coast, by me, when taking a moment to find joy in the simplest of things.

________________________________________________________________________

Below are a few articles on being still, taking time, and simplicity--to start your day this Thursday:

• Thoughts By Natalie | Just Breathe
• Darling Magazine | What You See is What You Get
• Anne the Adventurer | My Self Care Bag
• Going Home To Roost | Simple Living Inspiration
• On Books And Taking Time | Pearls Poppies Pinkies Up