Something hitting me straight on as I go through the process of writing for the Love Yourself Linkup each week, is something so simple: Loving yourself goes hand in hand with loving others.
It's one of those cyclical thoughts, when I try and break it down in my mind. Which comes first? Is it with loving yourself truer and more openly that you are better able to love others? Or is is the overflow from loving others, engaged in community and relationships, that builds up esteem and your ability to love yourself deeper? And when I think of my own life--the people in it, my perceptions of myself, what community and loving others look like at each point in my 27 years--I see a common thread. The times that I have loved myself the most, and extended continual grace and kindness to myself--those times I was engaged in a community where I was very much loving others and giving a portion of myself daily.
And it couldn't be truer in my life. The times that my anxiety builds, or I criticize myself, or I doubt my self-worth and focus on external beauty comparing and breaking myself down--those times, I am most likely lacking community. Those times, I am most likely lacking the daily necessity of loving others in a way where I give a portion of myself.
A piece of my heart has been transformed this week. I've been serving a few of Denver's homeless woman, loving them, listening to them, and making them feel worth it. And in giving a portion of myself, and stretching my comforts, in just this simple way, that piece of my heart that often forgets how to love myself, remembers. It remembers how to love myself because I'm loving others. At the same time, my ability to serve and the risk that I've taken in giving up a part of my comfortable week to serve others, is a direct outcome of this process of learning to love myself better. Loving myself has enabled me to better love others, leaving judgements and fear to the wayside.
I am reminded again that loving inward goes hand in hand with loving outward. So this is my challenge this week. Love others, so you can better love yourself. If you are struggling to love yourself, spend time in community, give a portion of yourself to someone in need of service, spend time over coffee with your friend, love in an unexpected way. Love yourself, so you can better love others. If you are struggling to love others because you are at a point where you are in recovery, or you just can't fully give yourself to service and loving others like you'd hope, work on loving yourself more honestly--and don't give up. Spend time reflecting on what goodness in you can better relationships and community. If you pray, pray often. If you journal, journal honestly. Be encouraged that loving others and loving yourself are beautifully intertwined.
Photo taken in San Luis Obispo during a time in my life when loving others and loving myself truly relied on each other.
How have you seen the inner workings of loving yourself and loving others pairing beautifully in your life?
