My Heart & My Career | Love Yourself Linkup

As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it...

About two month ago, I decided to work part time. I had a pulling on my heart since November, that I continued to ignore for months. Until finally, after the strings were tugged and pulled and my internal dialogue couldn't stay inside any longer-- I told someone about it. I told Matt. I told my mom. I told my boss, and her boss. I took a giant leap to say I know something isn't right, I am not fulfilled in my day to day, there is a part of my inner workings that does not feel complete. 

I took a leap to say that perhaps the career path I chose is not the one for me. That perhaps I need to start from square one and discover a new field. At age 27, after being a straight arrow zooming through school, four years of college studying Child Development and Psychology, and landing right into a job just one week after graduating--with the company I'd call my second family for five years now; I realized that maybe I zoomed a bit too quickly without stopping to listen to my heart along the way. The field that was perfect for me in my young twenties may not be that for me any longer. And for me, to realize this, took strength.

Strength because as soon as I spoke the words, questions shot right back in attempts to make me waiver, stumble, and deny my heart. To realize this, and tell someone about it? When I've always had my eggs neatly in a row? When I've worked so hard to get where I am at? When I've always been the one to do so well and never stray? When I don't have the answer for what I'll do next? When the image of "part-time" seems like the easy road out? When finances become an issue? When everyone else seems to have their career figured out? When, this, if, that?

Fast forward to now. Two months after I've moved to working part-time, so that I can explore my other passions and take the time to listen to my heart. I cannot say that doubts do not pop up or that I don't ask myself what are you doing? when others seem puzzled by my choice. In the world we live in, it becomes second nature to believe that at 27 I have to have my career figured out. That I have to know my five year plan. Well, I don't. But I do know that I am loving myself more now than I ever have. I can say that my heart feels more clearly listened to, exponentially so. I am looking at design, writing, and ministry as options to pursue. And it is exciting. Yet honestly, I feel so new to this type of thinking. To pursue my hobbies and my inner workings as a career path? To patiently seek out God's plan for me? (To even think that I overlooked both these things).

Matt often reminds me that I still have 30 years, if not more, of working days ahead. With that perspective, I want to choose what is absolutely right for me. This little bend in my otherwise straight arrow is but a freckle in my career path. As Bob Dylan said, "A man (or woman) is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do." -- so why not  take a risk and do it?

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I am writing today as part of the Love Yourself Linkup--an ongoing series that will focus on topics such as self worth and body image. A community of woman will talk about our thoughts on these subjects, tell stories of our personal experience, share what has inspired us, challenged us, and more. Learn more over at Ann the Adventurer. You can read my thoughts from the past weeks where I've shared about anxiety, true beauty, gossip, and writing to an 80 year old me. If you have a story to tell, and want to be a part of the link up, join the conversation by writing and clicking to enter it below.